Dear PiePie,
It is the first day of Chinese New Year and we just went to visit your great-grandmother and the extended relatives on grandpa’s side. Chinese New Year is laden with tradition, even as much of those practises have been adapted and diluted with the passing of time and of those who upheld the traditions.
We exchange oranges and greetings, and the elders give red packets (红包) to those who are younger according to some unwritten criterions. Like, those who are married are no longer eligible for red packets. Or those who experienced a death in the family in the past year are not required to give red packets. And there are probably many more rules I’ve never heard of. We are to stay up the night before to welcome the new year as a family (守岁) while enjoying a sumptuous reunion dinner. While our family doesn’t adhere strictly to these traditions, the practical result is that Chinese New Year is a time for distant relatives to come together and reacquaint themselves.
When I was a child, I dreaded such gatherings. Adults just seemed to sit around making small talk, and it was always quite boring. Even as I grew older, these traditions were more of a chore than something I looked forward to. And I suspect you’ll feel the same way too.
But I am starting to appreciate the opportunities that these traditions provide for us to reconnect with family and friends. They provide a reminder, or perhaps an excuse, for us to reach out with a greeting and a simple “how are you?”.
You will get busier and will have less time for those whom you were previously close with, whether family or friends. And these traditions are the thin threads holding together your memories and shared experiences, even as you slowly drift apart. That, I think, is when you might start to appreciate occasions like these.
It’s interesting that there are comparable traditions across cultures that provide similar opportunities for families and friends to gather. Whether they are called Christmas, Thanksgiving or Diwali, they almost always, as part of the tradition, comprise a sumptuous meal which the family gather together from all around the city (or world) to enjoy. It brings people together.
You will eventually drift apart from us. But I do hope that these traditions continue to bind us together and to our shared heritage, however loosely. And I hope it serves as a reminder from whence you came.
Love, Dad